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Stoney Sharp

Directing

Known For

Cinematic Titanic: Rattlers
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Something is very wrong in the Southwestern desert! It starts when rogue rattlesnakes attack two young boys, and it goes downhill from there. The local authorities summon herpetologist Dr. Tom Parkinson to investigate why the snakes are being such jerks. With the help of photographer and fledgling feminist Ann Bradley, the two of them embark on a haphazard and half-assed investigation – and romance. The hunt leads them to a nearby army base and its uncooperative commanding officer, Colonel Stroud. But when marauding rattlers kill two soldiers, the medical officer on the base can no longer keep silent and reveals the terrible secret, unleashing a chain of events, which lead to all kinds of explodey 1976 action, putting an end to the deadly rattlers. Maybe...

Cinematic Titanic: Rattlers

2012Movie
Cinematic Titanic: Blood of the Vampires
4.5

The Escodero family is cursed!The mother, whom the Escodero children assumed to be dead, is actually an undead vampire who lurks in a secret basement/dungeon hidden from the rest of the house. When the kids discover this dark truth, all hell breaks loose...literally! The mother bites the son, who grows fangs and becomes consumed with blood lust. Meanwhile, all this vampire activity wreaks havoc on the daughter's romance with her handsome, dashing fiance. It all leads to a foray into the occult that ultimately proves true love can live on forever, but not before a mob of angry villagers and avenging priests take on the Devil himself in a climactic battle between good and evil. Set in nineteenth century Mexico and performed by a Filipino cast, "Blood of the Vampires" has something for everyone: blood-soaked action for the guys, tender romance for the ladies, and unleashed demonic rage for the frightened child within us all.

Cinematic Titanic: Blood of the Vampires

2009Movie
Cinematic Titanic: The Oozing Skull
6.8

In the far-off land of Kalid, President Amir lies on his deathbed. If this revered head-of-state dies, the brutal dictatorship that he has so lovingly cultivated will fall into a dark age of uncertainty and chaos. And so, in this moment of crisis, his loyal staff are left with no alternative but to choose the only logical and sensible course of action—to transfer Amir's brain into a younger, healthier, and most importantly, living body. Enter Doctor Robert Trenton, a mad scientist of the traditional 'they all laughed at me and now I'll show them' school. He, along with his assistant, Dorro, a little man with a big appetite for evil, and Tracy, a conniving beauty with a heart that's harder than her leathery, over-tanned skin, concoct a deliriously diabolical plan involving murder, body-napping, skullduggery, and oozy, gooey brains.

Cinematic Titanic: The Oozing Skull

2007Movie
Cinematic Titanic: War of the Insects
5.5

The bugs shall inherit the earth! Or so says Annabelle, the hottest, the sexiest, and by far the craziest psycho blonde chick to hit Japan since WWII. Deeply embittered about the whole man's-inhumanity-to-man thing, she enacts a diabolical plot to unleash a swarm of mutant insects on the world that will destroy all living creatures except creepy crawlers. Ensnared in all this madness is a philandering island-hopping bug collector and his compliant and slightly pregnant wife, a humorless doctor from the mainland, and a United States airman named Charlie, whose way of starting a conversation is to hysterically scream "Genocide!" and then go off his rocker like the dedicated military professional he is. If you want to watch a story where everybody gets their nuclear holocaust on in the grand tradition of radioactive Japanese monster movies, this is the film for you!

Cinematic Titanic: War of the Insects

2011Movie
Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
8.0

The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!

Cinematic Titanic: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

2008Movie