Robert Ives

During a tempestuous storm, a lighthouse keeper finds an infant girl who washes ashore tied to some wreckage. He adopts her and they become inseparable. Eventually her real family finds her and wants her to live with them.

The rituals of courtship, romantic rivalry, and love play out three times as a man vies with a villain for the girl. In the Stone Age, the rivalry is set off by dinosaurs, a turtle used as a ouija board, and a round of golf with stones. In ancient Rome, the men display their brawn through a chariot race, using dogs instead of horses. In contemporary times, the man finds himself overcome by modernity, including a very fragile car.

A chaotic, night-long comedy ensues when a newlywed couple's celebration is interrupted by rowdy in-laws, a pet parrot that gets stuck inside the cooked turkey, and a series of slapstick mishaps. The turmoil is resolved when a perceived, romantic misunderstanding is revealed to be a secret surprise celebration for the husband's new contract and salary increase.

All the qualified men line up to be chosen, as an heiress advertises that she will marry the man with the most interesting mustache, that marriage which comes with a mansion. John Syrup Soother wins the marriage to who he believes is the heiress, Olive Palmer, a tank of a woman who has lost her beauty with age. But he learns that he his betrothed is not the heiress, Diana Palmer, but her mother. Howson Lotts, a shyster and one of Diana's other suitors, sells John a beach-front house for his new life, that house which is not all that it seems on the surface. In the meantime, others still will do anything to be Diana's betrothed, that choice in which John now has a different but still vested interest.

In an attempt to forget his lost sweetheart, Buster takes a long trip at the sea when he's caught by pirates.

When attacked by two dogs, Joe Gilmore leaves them on the desert to die. Later one of the dogs saves John Blake from drowning. Men arrive claiming the dog is killing their chickens. They want to kill the dog but John convinces them the dog's fate should be determined by a trial.

Tim Kelly is an orphan who runs away after his orphanage burns down. Presumed to be killed in the fire, he is able to roam the streets of New York City freely. He meets Max Ginsberg, an old Jewish junk dealer with rheumatism, and the two strike a partnership and a close friendship.

When young Ruth Ambrose ( Viola Dana ) arrives in Action, Maine, she rents a room above the furniture store of Israel Hubbard. After he leaves her in charge of the shop, her vivacious charm advances sales, producing a profitable business and Ruth soon begins a romantic relationship with the storekeeper's nephew, Allan ( Raymond McKee ).

Richard Clark is a kind lawyer who decides to get tough after losing all his clients, but he discovers it's not that easy to be mean.