This Isn't 'The Twilight Saga: Eclipse' - The XXX Parody

Mark wants to lose his virginity, but his girlfriend wants to wait. Unfortunately for both of them, a 400-year-old vampire Countess needs to turn a virgin into a vampire before Halloween in order to preserve her own youthful appearance, and when she finds Mark, she turns his life upside-down.

Reclusive vampires lounge in a lonely American town. They wear sunscreen to protect themselves. A descendant of Van Helsing arrives with hilarious consequences.

Tony, a thirteen-year-old boy on vacation in rural Germany, is fascinated by the idea of vampires. Meanwhile Rudolph, a vampire of "similar" age (313!), encounters trouble when his clan is threatened by a dangerously obsessed hunter. Fate brings these two boys together, as Tony & Rudolph set off an action-packed battle to stop the villain, save Rudolph's family and learn the power of friendship.

A noted professor and his dim-witted apprentice fall prey to their inquiring vampires, while on the trail of the ominous damsel in distress.

Charley Brewster, a high school student, accidentally discovers the true and creepy nature of Jerry Dandrige, his dashing and enigmatic new neighbor; but no one seems willing to believe him.

When a group of naive teens working at a movie theater in a small Christian town discover a mysterious film hidden in its basement, they unleash an alluring succubus who gives them a sex education…written in blood.

When a lawyer shows up at the vampire's doorstep, he falls prey to his charms and joins him in his search for fresh blood. Enter Professor Van Helsing, who may be the only one able to vanquish the Count.

Geeky 14-year old Ethan is left to babysit his younger sister, Jane, with his best friend Benny but after Ethan inadvertently puts Jane in harm's way, his parents hire a professional babysitter, the beautiful yet mysterious 17-year-old Sarah who, unbeknownst to them, is actually a fledgling vampire.

A duo of bisexual female vampires prey on passing motorists, whom they seduce and murder in the English countryside.

After three years of therapy Charley Brewster, now a college student, is convinced that Jerry Dandridge was a serial killer posing as a vampire. But when Regine, a mysterious actress and her entourage move into Peter Vincent's apartment block, the nightmare starts again - and this time it's personal!

Anthropologist Joe Weber takes his son on a trip to the New England town of Salem's Lot, unaware of its vampire population. When the inhabitants reveal their secret, they seek Weber to write a bible for them.

Having grown sick and tired of his centuries as Dracula's lackey, Renfield finds a new lease on life — and maybe even redemption — when he falls for feisty, perennially angry traffic cop Rebecca Quincy.

In the town of Dillford, humans, vampires and zombies were all living in peace - until the alien apocalypse arrived. Now three teenagers-one human, one vampire, and one zombie-have to team up to figure out how to get rid of the visitors.

A mousy librarian inherits her father's beloved but failing old movie house. In order to save the family business, she discovers her inner serial killer — and a legion of rabid gore fans — when she starts turning out a series of grisly shorts. What her fans don't realize yet is that the murders in the movies are all too real…

A vampire attacks a horror author on the street and then invites him to a nearby club as a gesture of gratitude, which turns out to be a meeting place for assorted creatures of the night. The vampire then regales him with three stories, each interspersed with musical performances at the club.

Dave, an artist who has yet to complete anything significant in his career, builds a fort in his living room out of pure frustration, only to wind up trapped by the fantastical pitfalls, booby traps, and critters of his own creation. Ignoring his warnings, Dave’s girlfriend Annie leads a band of oddball explorers on a rescue mission. Once inside, they find themselves trapped in an ever-changing supernatural world, threatened by booby traps and pursued by a bloodthirsty Minotaur.

Angela, the hostess from hell, summons her army of teen demons when teenagers from St. Rita's High School decide to party at the haunted Hull House on Halloween.

An LA vampire hunter has a week to come up with the cash to pay for his kid's tuition and braces. Trying to make a living these days just might kill him.

The Wishbone family are far from happy. In an attempt to reconnect as a family, they plan a fun night out. However, the plan backfires when they are cursed and all turned into Monsters.

Vampires have just made themselves public! Now a group of documentarians have been granted access to spend some time with them and learn how they live and coexist with humans. But as reality sets in, the crew realize they are in for far more than they bargained for.