Carry On Constable
"Oh! What a Carry On When that Crazy Bunch Join the Police Force"
"Oh! What a Carry On When that Crazy Bunch Join the Police Force"
Sergeant Grimshawe wants to retire in the flush of success by winning the Star Squad prize with his very last platoon of newly called-up National Servicemen. But a motley bunch they turn out to be, and it's up to Grimshawe to put the no-hopers through their paces.
In Haven Hospital, a certain men's ward is causing more havoc than the whole hospital altogether. The formidable Matron's debut gives everyone a chill every time she walks past, with only Reckitt standing up to her. There's a colonel who's a constant nuisance, a bumbling nurse, a romance between Ted York and Nurse Denton, and Bell wants his bunion removed straight away, so after a couple of pints, the men decide to remove the bunion themselves!
When a well-loved headmaster decides to retire, his scheming pupils have other ideas. The cunning boys unleash a campaign of practical jokes, armed with gin, itching power, and bombs!
After a bunch of no-hopers approaches an employment agency, the anarchy mounts as they do a series of odd jobs, including a chimp's tea party, trying to stay sober at a wine tasting… and demolishing a house.
Captain Crowther's lot is not a happy one! Five of his crew have to be replaced and at such short notice before the voyage begins there isn't much to choose from. Not only does he get the five most incompetent shipmates ever to sail the seven seas, but the passengers turn out to be a rather strange bunch too. The SS Happy Wanderer will never be the same.
Speedee Taxis is a great success, which means its workaholic owner Charlie starts neglecting Peggy, his wife. Suddenly a fleet of rival taxis appears from nowhere and start pinching all the fares. The rivals are Glamcabs, and they have a secret weapon. All their drivers are very attractive women! Who's behind Glamcabs? It's open warfare and only one fleet can survive!
Able seaman Poop-Decker signs up for adventure on the high seas with the wicked Captain Fearless. Those swabbing the decks include Juliet Mills, Charles Hawtrey and Donald Houston. The film was originally to be titled Up the Armada, but the British Board of Film Censors objected to such a rude title.
Carry On favourite Barbara Windsor makes her debut in this outrageous send-up of the James Bond movies. Fearless agent Desmond Simpkins and Charlie Bind, aided and abetted by the comely Agent Honeybutt and Agent Crump, battle against the evil powers of international bad guys STENCH and their three cronies.
Two Britons—inventor Hengist Pod, and Horse, a brave and cunning fighter—are captured and enslaved by invading Romans and taken to Rome. One of their first encounters in Rome leaves Hengist being mistaken for a fighter, and gets drafted into the Royal Guard to protect Julius Caesar.
Stodge City is in the grip of the Rumpo Kid and his gang. Mistaken identity again takes a hand as a 'sanitary engineer' named Marshal P. Knutt is mistaken for a law marshal. Being the conscientious sort, Marshal tries to help the town get rid of Rumpo, and a showdown is inevitable. Marshal has two aids—revenge-seeking Annie Oakley and his sanitary expertise.
The sinister Dr. Watt has an evil scheme going—he's kidnapping beautiful young women and turning them into mannequins to sell to local stores. Fortunately for him, Detective Sergeant Bung is on the case, and he doesn't have a clue!
Amidst the French revolution, Citizen Robespierre is beheading the aristocracy! When word gets to England, noblemen Sir Rodney Ffing and Lord Darcy Pue take it upon themselves to aid their French counterparts. Sir Rodney is a master of disguise, and becomes 'The Black Fingernail' scourge of Camembert and Bidet, leaders of the French secret police.
Bertram Oliphant 'Bo' West wants to clear his unjustly smeared reputation, so he joins the Foreign Legion—with Simpson his manservant in tow. But the fort they get posted to is full of eccentric legionnaires, and there's trouble brewing with the locals too. Unbeknown to Bo, his lady love has followed him in disguise.
Francis Bigger, a notorious charlatan who tours the country lecturing on the subject of mind over matter, slips off the platform in the middle of his performance and ends up in hospital under the care of Dr Tinkle. The hospital is about to enter a period of total chaos.
Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond looks after the British outpost near the Khybar pass. Protected by the kilted Third Foot and Mouth regiment, you would think they were safe, but the Khazi of Kalabar has other ideas—he wants all the British dead. But his troops fear the 'skirted-devils, who are rumoured not to wear any underwear.
Sid and Bernie keep having their amorous intentions snubbed by their girlfriends Joan and Anthea, so when they decide to take them on a holiday to Paradise Camp, they think they're off to a nudist colony—but they couldn't be more wrong, and meet up with the weirdest bunch of campers you can imagine.
Dr. Nookey is disgraced and sent to a remote island hospital. He is given a secret slimming potion by a member of staff, Gladstone Screwer, and he flies back to England to fame and fortune. But others want to cash in on his good fortunes, and some just want him brought down a peg or two.
The Carry On team send up the Tarzan tradition in great style. Lady Evelyn Bagley mounts an expedition to find her long-lost baby. Bill Boosey is the fearless hunter and guide. Prof. Tinkle is searching for the rare Oozalum bird. Everything is going swimmingly until a gorilla enters the camp, and then the party is captured by an all female tribe from Aphrodisia...
The Wedded Bliss computer dating agency aims to bring together the lonely hearts of Much-Snoggin-in-the-Green. Its owner, Sidney Bliss, has enough complications in his own love life, but still produces a pamphlet called 'The Wit to Woo'. The strange collection of hopefuls lead to some outlandish matches—and jealousies are bound to lead to trouble.
Henry VIII has just married Marie of Normandy, and is eager to consummate their marriage. Unfortunately for Henry, she is always eating garlic, and refuses to stop. Deciding to get rid of her in his usual manner, Henry has to find some way of doing it without provoking war with Marie's cousin, the King of France. Perhaps if she had an affair...
At WC Boggs' Lavatory factory, Vic Spanner is the union representative who calls a strike at the drop of a hat. However, eventually everyone gets fed up with him.
A gang of thieves plan to make their fortune by stealing a shipment of contraceptive pills from Finisham maternity hospital. They assume disguises and infiltrate the hospital, but everything doesn't go according to plan. The hypochondriac consultant Sir Bernard Cutting, Matron and the doctors and nurses at Finisham have a habit of getting in the way.
A group of holidaymakers head for the Spanish resort of Elsbels for a 4-day visit. When they get there, they find the Hotel still hasn't been finished being built, and the weather is awful. And there is something strange about the staff—they all look very similar. To top it all off, the weather seems to be having an adverse affect on the Hotel's foundations.
Local councillor Sidney Fiddler persuades the Mayor to help improve the image of their rundown seaside town by holding a beauty contest. But formidable Councillor Prodworthy, head of the local women's liberation movement, has other ideas. It's open warfare as the women's lib attempt to sabotage the contest.
Dick Turpin is terrorising the countryside around Upper Dencher. Captain Fancey and Sergeant Jock Strapp plan to put an end to his escapades, and enlist the help of the Reverend Flasher. Little do they know that the priest leads a double life. Then Madame Desiree and her "Birds of Paradise" arrive in the village...
Professors Vooshka and Crump decide to visit an archaeological site to study the artifacts there. Lo and behold, it's right next to a caravan site where all manner of people are staying. With a randy Major owning the site, a snobbish mother, and the two professors' constant innuendos, the story ends with a sinking caravan site and a striptease performance as a replacement for the cabaret night.
Captain S. Melly takes over as the new Commanding Officer at an experimental mixed sex air defence base. It's 1940 and England is under heavy bombardment, but the crew seem more interested in each other than the enemy planes above. Captain Melly plans to put a stop to all this, and becomes the target of a campaign to abandon his separatist ideals...
Celebrating twenty years of classic Carry On films, two of the films’ best-loved stars, Kenneth Williams and Barbara Windsor return to Pinewood film studios to unwrap some rib-tickling moments from the series. From the original, military mayhem of Carry On Sergeant, through to the really ancient archaeological gags of Carry On Behind, our saucy hosts get their titters out for this laugh-a-second gallop through the most successful series of British comedy films ever made.
The beautiful and sex-starved Emmannuelle Prevert just cannot inflame her husband's ardour. In frustration she seduces a string of VIPs, including the Prime Minister and the American Ambassador. A jealous lover gives a list of all her conquests to the national press and a scandal ensues. But will she ever manage to get her own husband into bed?
Christopher Columbus believes he can find an alternative route to the far East and persuades the King and Queen of Spain to finance his expedition...
Two FBI agent brothers, Marcus and Kevin Copeland, accidentally foil a drug bust. To avoid being fired they accept a mission escorting a pair of socialites to the Hamptons--but when the girls are disfigured in a car accident, they refuse to go. Left without options, Marcus and Kevin decide to pose as the sisters, transforming themselves from black men into rich European-American women.
The crooks in London know how it works. No one carries guns and no one resists the police. Then a new gang appears that go one better. They dress as police and steal from the crooks. This upsets the natural order of the police/criminal relationship and the police and the crooks join forces to catch the IPOs (Impersonating Police Officers), including an armoured car robbery in which the police must help the gangs to set a trap.
Miles Logan is a jewel thief who just hit the big time by stealing a huge diamond. However, after two years in jail, he comes to find out that he hid the diamond in a police building that was being built at the time of the robbery. In an attempt to regain his diamond, he poses as an LAPD detective.
For the past two years, high-school security guard Ben has been trying to show decorated APD detective James that he's more than just a video-game junkie who's unworthy of James' sister, Angela. When Ben finally gets accepted into the academy, he thinks he's earned the seasoned policeman's respect and asks for his blessing to marry Angela. Knowing that a ride along will demonstrate if Ben has what it takes to take care of his sister, James invites him on a shift designed to scare the hell out of the trainee. But when the wild night leads them to the most notorious criminal in the city, James will find that his new partner's rapid-fire mouth is just as dangerous as the bullets speeding at it.
When an upwardly mobile couple find themselves unemployed and in debt, they turn to armed robbery in desperation.
After escaping from prison, Joe and Terry go on a crime spree, robbing banks through Oregon and California in order to finance their scheme for a new life south of the border. Unfortunately, things get more complicated when they meet Kate, who runs into them with her car. She joins the bandits on their cross-country spree, and eventually she steals something, too: their hearts.
A loser of a crook and his wife strike it rich when a botched bank job's cover business becomes a spectacular success.
Involuntarily-retired Colonel Hyde recruits seven other dissatisfied ex-servicemen for a special project. Each of the men has a skeleton in the cupboard, is short of money, and is a service-trained expert in his field. The job is a bank robbery, and military discipline and planning are imposed by Hyde and second-in-command Race on the team, although civilian irritations do start getting in the way.
With the aid of his girlfriend, Phyllis Potter, and best friend, Loomis, Grimm enters a Manhattan bank dressed as a clown, creates a hostage situation and executes a flawless robbery. The only thing left for the trio to do is make their getaway out of the city and to the airport. It sounds simple enough, but it seems that fate deserts them immediately after the bank heist. One mishap after another conspires to keep these robbers from reaching freedom.
Desperate to pay the bills and come through for their loved ones, three lifelong pals risk it all by embarking on a daring bid to knock off the very bank that absconded with their money.
Charles Dreyfus, who has finally cracked over inspector Clouseau's antics, escapes from a mental institution and launches an elaborate plan to get rid of Clouseau once and for all.
A rich brat fakes her own kidnapping, but in the process ends up locked in the trunk of a car that gets stolen.
Danny Ocean and his gang attempt to rob the five biggest casinos in Las Vegas in one night.
An eccentric, if not charming Southern professor and his crew pose as a band in order to rob a casino, all under the nose of his unsuspecting landlord – a sharp old woman.
Two friends are drawn into a seedy underworld of extortion and violence when they try to blackmail a gang of bank robbers.
As a result of a misdiagnosis, Detective Burt Simpson is told he has just weeks to live. He gains a new respect for his life and loved ones but learns that in order for his wife, Carolyn, and son, Dougie, to collect any insurance money, he must be killed in the line of duty. He then becomes the most reckless man on the police force, volunteering for dangerous assignments over the objections of his by-the-book partner.
Dooley and his K-9 partner Jerry Lee are ready to retire from the police force. But before he can retire with his pension he must work as a P.I. to find a set of high tech computer chips.
A master thief recruits a notorious thief to help him steal two famous Faberge eggs from an impenetrable vault in an effort to pull off one final job and repay his debt to the Russian mob.
Unlike their heroic counterparts on the force, desk-bound NYPD detectives Gamble and Hoitz garner no headlines as they work day to day. When a seemingly minor case turns out to be a big deal, the two cops get the opportunity to finally prove to their comrades that they have the right stuff.
Virgil Starkwell is intent on becoming a notorious bank robber. Unfortunately for Virgil and his not-so-budding career, he is completely incompetent.
Sidney James
Sergeant Frank Wilkins
Eric Barker
Inspector Mills
Kenneth Connor
Constable Charlie Constable
Charles Hawtrey
Special Constable Timothy Gorse
Kenneth Williams
Constable Stanley Benson
Leslie Phillips
Constable Tom Potter
Joan Sims
Policewoman Gloria Passworthy
Hattie Jacques
Sergeant Laura Moon
Shirley Eaton
Sally Barry
Cyril Chamberlain
Constable Thurston
Joan Hickson
Mrs. May
Irene Handl
Willie's Mother
