
Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous
"The Army Will Never Be The Same"

"The Army Will Never Be The Same"
When fluffy, bubble gum movie star Megan Valentine suddenly finds herself broke and humiliated in the public eye, she wanders from the wreckage of a car accident and witlessly enlists in the U.S. Army hoping in vain that it will change her life.

Major Benson Winifred Payne is being discharged from the Marines. Payne is a killin' machine, but the wars of the world are no longer fought on the battlefield. A career Marine, he has no idea what to do as a civilian, so his commander finds him a job - commanding officer of a local school's JROTC program, a bunch of ragtag losers with no hope.

Disaster strikes when a criminal mastermind reveals the identities of all active undercover agents in Britain. The secret service can now rely on only one man - Johnny English. Currently teaching at a minor prep school, Johnny springs back into action to find the mysterious hacker. For this mission to succeed, he’ll need all of his skills - what few he has - as the man with yesterday’s analogue methods faces off against tomorrow’s digital technology.

Cowabunga! The surfing '60s ride into the new wave as Frankie and Annette star in this hip update of their old-time, good-time beach movies. With special appearances by Bob Denver, Tony Dow, Pee-Wee Herman, Jerry Mathers and other familiar faces. Frankie and Annette grow up and have kids in the midwest. They return to LA to visit their daughter who is shacked up with her boyfriend and tries to hide the fact. They begin to have marriage problems when Frankie runs into Connie, who has erected a shrine to him in her night club. Their punk son has joined up with the local surf toughs, and things all come to a head when the toughs challenge the good guys to a surfing duel

The US army is known for churning out lean mean fighting machines intent on protecting our great nation. Sergeant Ernie Bilko is the leader of a ragtag group of the sorriest soldiers ever to enlist in the armed forces.

Her innocent appearance is just a cover for Last Comic Standing winner Iliza Shlesinger's acerbic, stream-of-conscious comedy that she unleashes on an unsuspecting audience in her hometown of Dallas in "War Paint," her first stand-up special.

The captivating crime-fighting trio who are masters of disguise, espionage and martial arts are back! When a devious mastermind embroils them in a plot to destroy individual privacy, the Angels, aided by their loyal sidekick Bosley, set out to bring down the bad guys. But when a terrible secret is revealed, it makes the Angels targets for assassination.

The Lone Rangers have heavy-metal dreams and a single demo tape they can't get anyone to play. The solution: Hijack an FM rock radio station and hold the deejays hostage until they agree to broadcast the band's tape.

The gang that created Airplane! and The Naked Gun sets its sights on Top Gun in this spoof. Topper Harley is a talented but unstable fighter pilot with an axe to grind: clearing the family name. His mission is to avenge his father and save a mission sabotaged by greedy weapons manufacturers. He also gets involved in a relationship with Ramada Thompson, a woman with an unusually talented stomach. Hot Shots! makes fun of a variety of other films, from Dances with Wolves to The Fabulous Baker Boys.

After NBA star Kevin Durant switches talent with 16 year old Brian, the teenager becomes the star of his high school team, but Durant starts struggling and eventually learns an important lesson.

Three manic idiots—a lawyer, a cab driver and a handyman—team up to run a ballet company to fulfil the will of a millionaire. Stooge-like antics result as the trio try to outwit the rich widow and her scheming big-shot lawyer, who also wants to run the ballet.

An uptight advertising exec has his entire life in a filofax organizer which mistakenly ends up in the hands of a friendly convict who poses as him.

In her fourth stand-up special, Whitney Cummings returns to her hometown of Washington, D.C., and riffs on modern feminism, technology and more.

To save the family business, two ne’er-do-well traveling salesmen hit the road with disastrously funny consequences.

Ross Bodine and Frank Post are cowhands on Walt Buckman's R-Bar-R ranch. Bodine is older and broods a bit about how he will get along when he's too old to cowboy. Post is young and rambunctious and ambitious for a better life than wrangling cows. When one of their fellow cowboys is killed in a corral accident, Post suggests a way into a better life for himself and his friend: robbing a bank. Bodine reluctantly joins in the plan and the two contrive to rob the local bank. They make good their escape initially, but Walt Buckman and his two sons, John and Paul, are incensed at this betrayal by their own trusted employees. John and Paul set out to bring Bodine and Post to justice.

When Alita awakens with no memory of who she is in a future world she does not recognize, she is taken in by Ido, a compassionate doctor who realizes that somewhere in this abandoned cyborg shell is the heart and soul of a young woman with an extraordinary past.

A womanizing CIA agent and an insecure insurance agent are paired together to make sure a deal goes through with aliens for the future of mankind.

Two high school misfits join forces in an attempt to overtake the local school board. Guided by their families, they enter the perilous word of politics and, in the process, learn a thing or two about love.

Test pilot Hal Jordan finds himself recruited as the newest member of the intergalactic police force, The Green Lantern Corps.

Paramutual Pictures wants to know where all the money is going so they hire Morty to be their spy. Morty works for Mr. Sneak and gets a job in the mail room so that he can have access to the lot. But all that Morty ever finds is that he can cause havoc no matter what he does.

Lifelong best friends, Sam and Jess, are each other’s everything. But when Jess meets a handsome out-of-stater, Landon, Sam begins to fear she’s being cast aside. To make matters worse, a massive corporation - who happens to be Landon’s employer - is threatening the small-town way of life they know and love in Vermont. In order to save her sisterhood and protect the town, Sam will pull out all the stops to keep both Jess’s relationship and the ominous company from developing any further.

Jessica Simpson
Private Megan Valentine

Vivica A. Fox
Sergeant Louisa Morely

Steve Guttenberg
Sidney Green

Aimee Garcia
Private Vicky Castillo

Olesya Rulin
Private Petrovich

Keiko Agena
Private Hailey Hamamori

Jill Marie Jones
Private Connie Johnson

Ryan Sypek
Sergeant Mills Evans

Cheri Oteri
Private Jeter

Gary Grubbs
Captain Greer

Bryce Johnson
Derek O'Grady
Floriana Tullio
Camille