TIMSuck 13: Sword Swallowers

A folklore professor becomes unwittingly possessed by the ancient Japanese demons of Thunder and Lightning. But when The Bureau of Paranormal Research & Defense dispatches a team of agents to investigate, a cursed samurai sword sends Hellboy to a supernatural dimension of ghosts, monsters, and feudal mayhem. Now while pyrokinetic Liz Sherman and fishboy Abe Sapien battle one very pissed-off dragon, a lost and cranky Hellboy must find his way home.

When a group of naive teens working at a movie theater in a small Christian town discover a mysterious film hidden in its basement, they unleash an alluring succubus who gives them a sex education…written in blood.

Captain Etienne Navarre is a man on whose shoulders lies a cruel curse. Punished for loving each other, Navarre must become a wolf by night whilst his lover, Lady Isabeau, takes the form of a hawk by day. Together, with the thief Philippe Gaston, they must try to overthrow the corrupt Bishop and in doing so break the spell.

In an attempt to make some extra cash while away at College, Kylie moves into a house that streams content to an X-rated website. After a deranged fan hacks in to determine the house's location, she finds herself in a terrifying fight for her life.

The villains from the popular animated Disney films are gathered at the House of Mouse with plans to take over. Soon, the villains take over the house and kick out Mickey, Donald and Goofy. It's all up to Mickey and his friends to overthrow evil and return the House of Mouse to normal--or as close to normal as it gets.

A devout Mormon living in L.A. becomes a pornographic actor after his martial arts moves impress a big-time director.

When the child Arthur’s father is murdered, Vortigern, Arthur’s uncle, seizes the crown. Robbed of his birthright and with no idea who he truly is, Arthur comes up the hard way in the back alleys of the city. But once he pulls the sword Excalibur from the stone, his life is turned upside down and he is forced to acknowledge his true legacy... whether he likes it or not.

The Daywalker known as "Blade" - a half-vampire, half-mortal man - becomes the protector of humanity against an underground army of vampires.

In 18th-century France, a young man masquerades as an actor to avenge his friend's murder.

After experiencing traumatic nightmares of a time now past, the Sorceress summons Prince Adam and Cringer to Castle Grayskull to give Adam a precious, jeweled sword and send the pair to the planet Etheria to investigate its secrets.

Based on the Vanity Fair article of the same title, a story about a young boy drawn into a web of lies through an online chatroom.

The film's plot follows that of the game closely. Nariko, a member of an ancient tribe who have guarded an ancient magical sword for thousands of years, is charged with bringing the sword to its destined wielder, a deity reincarnated who will bring peace to the land. But on her quest, Nariko must wield the sword herself against the forces of King Bohan, who wishes to possess the weapon himself.

During the times of King Arthur, Kayley is a brave girl who dreams of following her late father as a Knight of the Round Table. The evil Ruber wants to invade Camelot and take the throne of King Arthur, and Kayley has to stop him.

Professor Van Helsing had been asked to help against the tyranny of skeletal creatures that are responsible for terror and death amongst the peasants in rural China. He is the only person qualified to deal with the cause of these phenomena, for the undead are controlled by the most diabolical force of all.... Count Dracula. But he is not alone- to aid him comes a mystical brotherhood of seven martial arts warriors.

Marlon Riggs, with assistance from other gay Black men, especially poet Essex Hemphill, celebrates Black men loving Black men as a revolutionary act. The film intercuts footage of Hemphill reciting his poetry, Riggs telling the story of his growing up, scenes of men in social intercourse and dance, and various comic riffs, including a visit to the "Institute of Snap!thology," where men take lessons in how to snap their fingers: the sling snap, the point snap, the diva snap.

In 1830, the Karnstein heirs use the blood of an innocent to bring forth the evil that is the beautiful Mircalla - or as she was in 1710, Carmilla. The nearby Finishing School offers rich pickings not only in in the blood of nubile young ladies but also with the headmaster who is desperate to become Mircalla's disciple, and the equally besotted and even more foolish author Richard Lestrange.

A guy's life is turned around by an email, which includes the names of everyone he's had sex with and ever will have sex with. His situation gets worse when he encounters a femme fatale who targets men guilty of sex crime.

Benny, a college freshman at the University of Akron, Ohio meets and falls for fellow freshman Christopher at a football game. With the support of their families and friends they embark on a new relationship. But a tragic event in the past involving their mothers soon comes to light and threatens to tear them apart.

A daughter seeks to restore the reputation of her disgraced father, a wronged college professor. With help of a professional student, she must overcome an ambitious sorority bitch and corrupt college dean.

A story of lost love, young love, a legendary sword and one last opportunity at redemption.