Beauty

Neil, a self-proclaimed film geek and owner of Gumshoe video, has always been content to live vicariously through his favorite films noir. But when he meets Violet, a real-life femme fatale, his mundane world gets turned upside down and the line between reality and the movies quickly begins to blur.

Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

How far would you go to get the person of your dreams? With the help of Gwen and Tiffani, Kyle pretends to be heterosexual in order to land Troy, the new guy (and nude model) who's turning the heads of both men and women. He soon finds himself joining the campus ex-gay support group and nabbing a girlfriend! Kyle's ex-boyfriend Marc is horrified at the plan and decides to pursue the confused Troy with his own tactic -- being his "out" gay self. Who will win Troy first?

Jane Goodale has everything going for her. She's a producer on a popular daytime talk show, and is in a hot romance with the show's dashing executive producer Ray. But when the relationship goes terribly awry, Jane begins an extensive study of the male animal, including her womanizing roommate Eddie. Jane puts her studies and romantic misadventure to use as a pseudonymous sex columnist -- and becomes a sensation.

When a group of naive teens working at a movie theater in a small Christian town discover a mysterious film hidden in its basement, they unleash an alluring succubus who gives them a sex education…written in blood.

To test its top-secret Human Hibernation Project, the Pentagon picks the most average European-Americans it can find - an Army private and a prostitute - and sends them to the year 2505 after a series of freak events. But when they arrive, they find a civilization so dumbed-down that they're the smartest people around.

An American man unwittingly gets involved with werewolves who have developed a serum allowing them to transform at will.

Two business executives--one an avowed misogynist, the other recently emotionally wounded by his love interest--set out to exact revenge on the female gender by seeking out the most innocent, uncorrupted girl they can find and ruining her life.

When a lawyer shows up at the vampire's doorstep, he falls prey to his charms and joins him in his search for fresh blood. Enter Professor Van Helsing, who may be the only one able to vanquish the Count.

Sweet Gordon, an affable English teacher in Brooklyn, has beaten the odds; a French Girl has fallen in love with him and he’s fallen even harder back. But their future is thrown into limbo when she interviews for an executive chef position in her hometown of Quebec City. To Gordon’s dismay her future boss also happens to be her former lover, a celebrity Chef with oceanic eyes and a hit TV show. Good luck Gordon.

Agent Peggy Carter is relegated to a desk job and frustrated at her male boss and comrades' sexist dismissal of her place in the SSR. Ordered to work late one night, Carter gets an alert that the villain Zodiac has been spotted and decides to take care of it herself.

An obese lawyer finds himself growing "Thinner" when an old Romani man places a hex on him. Now the lawyer must call upon his friends in organized crime to help him persuade the old man to lift the curse. Time is running out for the desperate lawyer as he draws closer to his own death, and grows ever thinner.

A white dropout struggles to become a cartoonist and filmmaker, drawing inspiration from the harsh, gritty world around him. Still sharing his rundown apartment with his middle-aged parents, an oafish slob of an Italian father and a ditzy nutcase of a Jewish mother, he's ridiculed and looked down upon by his friends, hypocrites who run with violent gangs and the Italian Mafia, and a shallow Black girl who makes her living downtown with the pimps and pushers. The cartoonist gets a chance to pitch a film idea to a movie mogul, but the story proves too outrageous: a far-future Earth, depleted by war and pollution, where a mutant antihero challenges and kills God.

Tom is dressed up and treated like a baby by the little girl of the house.

Charlie, the fiercely independent owner of an all-female mechanic shop, is forced to reevaluate her future when a flashy corporate competitor moves in across the street. Seeking comfort, she turns to an anonymous online confidant - unaware she's confiding in Beau, the very rival threatening her business. As sparks fly both online and off, the truth threatens to blow everything apart.

Suffering from a severe case of depression, toy company CEO Walter Black begins using a beaver hand puppet to help him open up to his family. With his father seemingly going insane, adolescent son Porter pushes for his parents to get a divorce.

The comedic modern-day quintet takes on their 2003 counterparts when villains from each of their worlds join forces to pit the two Titan teams against each other. They'll need to set aside their differences and work together to combat Trigon, Hexagon, Santa Claus (that's right, Santa!) and time itself in order to save the multiverse.

A young man in a tricky situation follows the advice of his unconventional best friend and uses social media to create a fake boyfriend to keep his awful ex-lover out of his life. But everything backfires when he meets the real love of his life, and breaking up with his fake boyfriend proves hard to do.

Still reeling from the tragic death of their mother, a teenage girl and her younger sister find themselves plagued by a sadistic presence in their house and struggle to get their grieving father to pay attention before it’s too late.

Deuce Bigalow is a less than attractive, down on his luck aquarium cleaner. One day he wrecks the house of a gigolo and needs quick money to repair it. The only way he can make it is to become a gigolo himself, taking on an unusual mix of female clients. He encounters a couple of problems, though. He falls in love with one of his unusual clients, and a sleazy police officer is hot on his trail.