Absolutely Fucked

Jones is a secret agent who has gone into semi-retirement, concentrating instead on teaching the martial arts to inner city youths. The karate school is run by a kindly old coot named Pops. His gambling debts, however, bring the local thug, Pinky, down on him. To make matters worse, Pinky is then hired by some white thugs who want to get a hold of the property Pops' school occupies so they can build a shopping mall. When things get heavy, Black Belt Jones leaps into action. Only he's not alone. Pops' daughter, Sidney, shows up to lend a hand, proving herself every bit as agile and powerful a martial artist as Jones.

Chip's problem is that he can't say no to beautiful women. This weakness gets him into a world of trouble when he agrees to help his girlfriend steal $68,000.

The clumsy and unfunny clown Richard "Stitches" Grindle entertains at the 10th birthday party of little Tom, but the boy and his friends play a prank with Stitches, tying his shoelaces. Stitches slips, falls and dies. Six years later, Tom gives a birthday party for his friends at home, but Stitches revives to haunt the teenagers and revenge his death.

Andy is a new teacher at an inner city high school that is unlike any he has seen before. There are metal detectors at the front door and the place is basically run by a tough kid named Peter Stegman. Soon, Andy and Stegman become enemies and Stegman will stop at nothing to protect his turf and drug dealing business.

Ex-wrestler and Tennessee Sheriff Buford Pusser walks tall and carries a big stick as he tussles with county-wide corruption and moonshining thugs.

Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O, Wee Man and the rest of their fearless and foolhardy friends take part in another round of outrageous pranks and stunts. In addition to standing in the path of a charging bull, launching themselves into the air and crashing through various objects, the guys perform in segments such as "Sweatsuit Cocktail," "Beehive Tetherball" and "Lamborghini Tooth Pull."

Nico Toscani is an Italian immigrant, American patriot, ex-CIA agent, aikido specialist and unorthodox Chicago policeman. He is as committed to his job as he is to his personalized brand of justice—expert and thorough bone-crushing.

Former SWAT leader David Hendrix and hard-partying movie star Brody Walker must cut their ride-along short when a police training facility is attacked by a team of mercenaries.

Mike Fallon, the Accident Man, is a stone cold killer. When a loved one is murdered by his own crew, Fallon is forced to avenge the one person who actually meant something to him.

An American with a Japanese upbringing, Chris Kenner is a police officer assigned to the Little Tokyo section of Los Angeles. Kenner is partnered with Johnny Murata, a Japanese-American who isn't in touch with his roots. Despite their differences, both men excel at martial arts, and utilize their formidable skills when they go up against Yoshida, a vicious yakuza drug dealer with ties to Kenner's past.

A devout Mormon living in L.A. becomes a pornographic actor after his martial arts moves impress a big-time director.

Rich momma's boy Wade Kingsley Jr. an Eastern dude, tries to follow in his murdered father's footsteps by returning to the West to partner up with Slim Moseley Jr.,the son of his father's former partner. Wade overcomes Slim's initial reluctance to accept him by using his fortune to buy a prize cow and new car to help Slim in his job as foreman on the Kingsley family ranch, currently under siege by a gang of outlaws called "masked raiders." Wade generously tries to pay off the ranch's mortgage with $15,000 of his own money, but unfortunately neither "pardner" realizes that respected banker Dan Hollis, the son of their fathers' murderer, is the leader of the gang.

When an inner-city Miami schoolteacher gets her knee broken after standing up to the school's gang leader, her mercenary combat specialist boyfriend goes undercover as a substitute teacher to take down the punk. Soon he discovers a conspiracy of criminals at work, and must reassemble his team from his last jungle raid to stop them.

Starting from childhood attempts at illustration, the protagonist pursues his true obsession to art school. But as he learns how the art world really works, he finds that he must adapt his vision to the reality that confronts him.

A graduate student and martial-arts expert rents a room in a house owned by a single mother who lives there with her son. A local street gang is trying to recruit the son, but the new tenant tries to help the boy's mother keep him out of the gang. When they learn of this, they target both the mother and her new tenant.

An old gangster is advised that Freddie Mays would leave jail after thirty years in prison. His mood changes and he recalls when he was a young punk and who joined Freddie's gang—a man he both envied and ultimately betrayed.

While doing the inventory for a lingerie outlet in a high rise office building, five attractive women are terrorized by a series of bizarre killings. They suspect that the strange janitor, who witnessed another series of killings years back, is at the bottom of the whole thing. Little do they know the real horror that they face in the end.

A former assassin, known simply as The Bride, wakes from a coma four years after her jealous ex-lover Bill attempts to murder her on her wedding day. Fueled by an insatiable desire for revenge, she vows to get even with every person who contributed to the loss of her unborn child, her entire wedding party, and four years of her life. After devising a hit list, The Bride sets off on her quest, enduring unspeakable injury and unscrupulous enemies.

The Cavalcade of Perversion, a traveling freak show, acts as a front for Divine, who is out for blood after discovering her lover's affair.

A horrific explosion creates a dimensional portal between Tromaville and its dimensional mirror image, Amortville. While the Toxie is trapped in the mirror dimension, Tromaville comes under the control of his evil doppelganger, the Noxious Offender.